Ciaran on the joys of working with PHP

I feel for you Ciaran, I really do:

<ciaran>: OH FUCK YOU PHP
<ciaran>: FUCK YOU
- ciaran: stabs

PHP is stupid

cheetara:~ will$ php -r 'pg_escape_string();'

Warning: pg_escape_string() expects exactly 2 parameters, 0 given in Command line code on line 1
cheetara:~ will$ php -r 'pg_escape_string( "" );'
cheetara:~ will$

Why?! Thanks to Carl for spotting this particular inadequacy in PHP.